Why It's Okay to NOT do Everything

Optical Illusion Time! Look at the above images for a couple seconds, remember what you see. Then avert your eyes, look again, and try to see something different. These two images are pretty famous, and if you’re a 90’s kid like me, you’ll remember these from the back of Apple Jacks (I’m 2-2 on cereal references so far, let’s keep it going!) I’m sorry to mess with your eyes, but I promise it’ll all make sense once the analogy comes together. Fellow students (only a couple, no need to worry, ACT people that read this) here come up to me, a little concerned/worried about what they won’t get to do everything, that people will miss them if they don’t go out, or that they want a study abroad experience and feel it isn’t one if you don’t do what everyone else is doing.

(See where the illusion’s gonna come into play yet?? I know, I’m excited too)

The thing about those images is that it’s one picture, that can take the form of two different things It all depends on perspective; if you want to see the old woman and a three pronged fork, you can, and if you want to see the other side, that’s possible too. The only thing that’s IMPOSSIBLE about these images is to focus on both simultaneously. “But Martin… What does this have to do with going abroad?” Glad you asked, [insert your name here]! I’ll give this my best shot.

The thing about being abroad/being a young adult/being human is that desire to have common experiences with others. There’s no point diving on the floor for a point in a meaningless ping-pong game (me), or playing enough table tennis to make you physically exhausted (see last parentheses) if there’s no one to share the laughter with afterwards. Internal satisfaction at hitting a ball can only take you so far; otherwise we’d all play chess against the computer and play tennis against a wall. 

However, there’s also no point staying at a club that you’re not having fun at (nitraM did that one). No one’s gonna be there to look back on your life to make your memories more exciting; it’s part of growing up that you become responsible for how you have fun.

The point is, we all have our limits, we all have an idea of what people we really like, what we like to do with those people, and (most importantly) how long we can hang with those people without becoming unpleasant. If you don’t have any sort of a grasp on those answers by the time you go abroad, that’s alright, but try to seek out your personal answers to those questions. Feel comfortable knowing that your answers will be different, even from the people you love most. Give yourself time to recharge your social batteries, and you’ll have a better sense of how to best maximize your time with people, either abroad or at home.

I wanna end on a (kinda/sorta) personal note. It’s really okay to not do something; I promise it is. It’s okay for other people to have inside jokes with your close friends (it probably wouldn’t even be funny if they recounted it, otherwise your friends should go into comedy). It's okay to miss a party/gathering/drinking session. Being awesome, being dapper, being swagged out, or being whatever sort of “cool” you aspire to be doesn’t come with pretending you’re too cool to try anything that you may fail at, and it DEFINITELY doesn’t come from buying all the Hispanic kids in high school two packs of Orbit Sweet Mint gum so you could sit at their table (as they continued to exclude you by speaking in Spanish). Being cool is about owning up to what you were, being comfortable with who you are, and being confident in the person you’re becoming. Nothing more, nothing less. 

P.S. I’ll get into touristy/school stuff later, but I keep coming up with topics that are more far-ranging than Greece. If this keeps happening, I’ll just make the posts longer, just in case people want to know what classes I’m taking, my impeccable table tennis record, or anything like that.

Jump

As the plane took off, I clenched my teeth and gripped the armrests. I didn’t have much space, being 6’1 and sitting next to a (and I mean this in the kindest way possible) plump German woman, but I did have the space in my mind. After staring off into space in deep thought for three or four minutes, I had a series of simple, but profound thoughts.

I don’t like cheese.

I don’t speak any Greek.

Where am I going to stay tonight?

Why do kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

Minus the last one, which haunts me every day, the other questions/challenges solved themselves pretty quickly. I stayed at a cheap hotel before going to my actual apartment in the morning; I’ve picked up Greek by actually practicing it with Greeks, who greatly appreciate the gesture. In regards to cheese, I accidentally bought Swiss at the grocery store, but it’s going in my omelet anyways. [Side note: anyone that doesn’t like fresh feta needs to be sat down by an adult to talk about positive life choices]

Those questions have stopped better men from living their best life. I don’t mean that being slightly lactose intolerant has stopped people from winning the lottery or inventing the Snuggie, but it can stop you from enjoying some good food. A broader example is the whole process of going abroad, especially to more unfamiliar places (i.e. not Paris, London or the other very popular study abroad locations). You may think you won’t like the food, you may already have a great group of friends, you may think you can’t afford it, and you may have seen the movie Taken. Heck, there may be a rising Neo-Nazi group gaining power due to economic turmoil. Like this one? [Fun fact: every single one of those was true in my case]

But, if you think about it, you’re not breaking any revolutionary ground for college students. We’ve been going abroad for a while now and, if you’re smart (which I’d like to think is true), you’ll be fine. Some kids at BC, specifically the minorities/those with four years of housing/those on the lower rungs of the socioeconomic ladder, let one of the obstacles deter them from having what is almost always an amazing experience. It’s happened so much that the best dorm to live in during your junior year, when most students go abroad, is informally known as the “AHANA (African-American, Hispanic, Asian, and Native American) Hotel.” Whether it’s meant in a positive, negative, or neutral way, a nickname like that does not help for a united student body.

I’m not saying that EVERYONE should go abroad, credits, courses and obstacles be damned, but I think everyone should look into it. I can tell it’s a life-changing experience, and I’m only a week in. Immersing yourself in a brand new environment, the more different the better, can make you a more well-rounded and cultured person.

Often, the obstacles in your path turn out to be smaller than they seem, or, in some cases, mere illusions. The closer you get, and the more you lock your goals into focus, the easier it gets to overcome hurdles, slide under trees, and break 1,000,000 points in Temple Run 2. So take the plunge, dive off the high board, and be open to being open. You’ll never enjoy anything, including Cinnamon Toast Crunch, until you take a magnifying glass to each and every opportunity for growth (also known as obstacles), and find the cinnamon and sugar swirls in every bite.